“Go G Go, Live Your Life”

The dream started with the popular Bollywood movie DDLJ. Few years later, another movie ZNMD revived that dream. The much-needed final push was given by the movie Queen. When I told my family & friends that my much-awaited EuroTrip was finally happening, they said to me “Ja G Ja, Jee Le Apni Zindagi”, which translates to “Go G Go, Live Your Life”.

I had booked my round trip flights to Paris. When my close friends realized that I was actually serious about this trip, two of them ended up following my footsteps and booked their flights. We three girlfriends were very excited to explore three countries on our two-week trip. My other friends, especially the married ones and the ones with kids were envious of the journey that I was about to take. Two of my female colleagues took me out for a send-off lunch. Many of my friends had more expectations than me from this trip – they hoped that I would find my Raj on this trip. I know what all of you might be thinking right now – “Did I find my Raj?” Well, let me first take you on this journey with me.

May be it was the cold and rainy weather or may be because we were doing the touristy stuff, I could not connect to Paris right away. But the city grows on you. Before I knew, it was time to leave. The silver lining was that I was coming back for 2 days. I was happy. So happy that I wanted to kiss. Someone. Anyone. The city of love had done its magic. I was intrigued by the way the people there express love freely. And I realized how in India, the expression of love is so muted. I don't mean public display of affection but generally people don't express their affection for each other by speaking or doing things which show they care. We would be so much happier if we expressed our feelings much more.

The next stop was Italy. I had heard so much about Italian men. About how romantic, passionate and attractive they are. But the one Italian man I could get the closest to was Michelangelo’s David, a masterpiece of Renaissance sculpture. Initially I was wondering why are we paying 23 Euros to watch a marble statue of a nude man but I understood the reason at the first sight. I spent about an hour admiring its beauty from different angles. Most of our trip was planned to the T except for one day. On that day, we decided to visit a village in Tuscany region. It turned out to be a quaint little town with a beautiful marketplace, several vineyards and not many souls in sight. We enjoyed a meal of freshly made pasta and local wine under the Tuscan sun. When I look back, this day stands out as one of the best experiences during the trip, and it made me appreciate the importance of spontaneity. Sometimes too much planning, kills the curiosity and exhilaration that comes from such unplanned experiences.

We then flew to Barcelona. Till now on the trip, I had not tried to venture out of my comfort zone. Even though I am an extrovert, I have trouble connecting with strangers. But the warmth of Spanish people made me push myself out of that comfort zone. We went to a Tapas place and sat on the bar so that we could interact with people around us. The guy sitting next to us was surprised to know that Indian girls were travelling alone to a different country. We spent the evening exchanging knowledge about the Indian and Spanish culture. This experience made me understand how travel is not just about visiting a place but also meeting people and making new friends.

Finally, we were back in Paris for the final leg of the journey. On the last day, I decided to explore the city on my own. I walked across the city, watching people and trying to soak in the culture. Being on my own helped me clear my mind, and assimilate the experiences that I was taking back from this trip. I absolutely enjoyed my own company and this experience planted the idea of doing a solo trip in the future.

Well I did not find my Raj on the trip but as filmy as it might sound, I discovered a bit of myself. So go people go, live your life and discover yourself. As Mark Twain said “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” 

Single in the City

Sometimes I wonder if my life is just about attending the weddings of my friends or going to see their new borns for the first time. Or worse trying to remember the names of their spouses and babies.

But at other times, I wonder if my life is about having the freedom to go out for dinner or a movie with a guy friend or going to the pub for Wednesday Ladies Night out with my girl friends to enjoy free drinks.

As you must have guessed by now, I am in the better half of my 20's and SINGLE! You can't even imagine the pressure that comes with it. If I come back to office after a couple of days off or bring sweets to the office, people think I got engaged. And I dare not apply Mehendi (Henna) on my hands. The pressure gets tenfold when I visit my hometown and meet my relatives. Or worse if I attend a family wedding. "You are next in line". "Whats your age? Oh, you should get married now. When I was your age, I had 2 kids". On the outside, I can't do much more than smile but on the inside I am shouting "Can't you mind your own business???"

When I was a young girl, I was very fascinated by weddings. The new clothes, jewelery, makeup.. all that sounded so good. On Karvachauth, the Indian festival in which women pray for the long life of their husbands, I used to dress up just like my mom without realizing that it’s fun to dress like that once in a while but not every day, for the rest of your life.

In college, I was told "Concentrate on making your career". The underlying message was "Stay away from boys. Don't let them spoil your studies and future. And if you happen to find a guy, he should be of the same caste, with a good family background, be rich and have a great career." With all those specifications, all the guys I knew got filtered off.

I started with the more traditional approach, meeting the guys shortlisted by my parents. I had a few disaster dates. Some of the guys were mamma's boys and the others wanted a career woman who would party with them. But as soon as she steps inside the house, she should switch to the daughter-in-law avatar, and cook delicious dinner for his parents every day. It seemed like they were not looking for a life partner but the female version of superman.

So I decided to find the right guy on my own. I know it sounds a lot rosy. But it turned out to be much more difficult than I had expected. Come to think of it, the only guys I get to meet our software engineers like me and I thouht what a boring life it would be.. a software engineer marrying another software engineer. Or worse, a team member marrying a manager. Just imagine a lazy Saturday afternoon; the husband-cum-manager delegates all the work to me and I end up being a helpless team member following her boss’s orders even at home.

I feel there are so less avenues to look for the right guy. And I have tried most of them without any fruitful results - Dance Classes, Internet, Libraries and even Toastmasters Club.

Lately, I have been hooked onto the Sex and the City Series. But instead of New York City, I find myself walking on the lanes of Noida. And instead of turning around to check out cute guys, I hold my purse tightly and look for potential chain and purse snatchers on black pulsars. I hope like Carrie Bradshaw, I find my Mr. Big sometime soon! So if there are any single men out there, who think they fit the bill, you know where to find me. ;-)

P.S. Some of the characters and events in the speech are fictitious/exaggerated. I would like to believe I am not as desperate as I sound above :-)